THE HEBREW ISRAELITE INSTITUTE OF DIVINE STUDIES

The Conspiracy and Hidden Identity of Blacks in the Bible

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The UnBelief Believer's Question By: Minister Speed



The Question

Too much truth and in too much detail leaves those unfamiliar with the topic looking at you like you are crazy.


Among those unfamiliar with the topic at hand — and therefore unable to completely process and act on information about it — are mostly those unwilling for forage outside the confines of the Mind Made Self.

The truth of an idea does not occur within a vacuum but has properties inherent within the spirit of a flawed man within it. Truth happens to an idea within the Mind.

It becomes true and is made true by events which flow through the imagination and active faith of a man.

Its veracity is in fact an event, a process, the process namely of verifying itself.

The process is its verification. Its validity is the process of its validation.

Most people who profess to be Christians live in active UNBELIEF!!! 



One of the most powerful “Truth” I have often had to meet on is that of giving my “Very Best” to God my Creator.  

There rages A “warfare” over what Truth really is and where that truth really exist. 

This antagonistic approach to truth has allowed for the development of multiple denominations within Biblical Christianity which in itself is a contradiction of Christianity itself.


If you understand the answer then you will be able to give an appropriate question and develop the character to give your absolute Very Best to the Creator.

Within the answer is enough power to propel you dynamically to the spiritual realm where God lives and it has the power to vanquish the care, worries and problems of this world.



Answer:  I Am An UnBelief Believer.

Monday, February 23, 2015

The Christian Restoration Ministry & Minister Jimmie Speed

THE CHRISTIAN RESTORATION MINISTRY

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TELEPHONE: (909)524-2862

EMAIL:jimmiespeed@sbcglobal.net


If you need Prayer, want to order products, contact Minister Speed for Speaking Engagements, Workshops or to give a donation, we are here for you at the times you need us most.


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MINISTRY PRODUCTS

A Declaration to the Spiritual Soldier
By: Minister Jimmie Speed

$20.00 USD

The book A Declaration to the Spiritual Soldier is intended to be the first in a series of three books which speaks candidly and unapologetically of the satanic deceptions and failures within what the Minister calls the false and apostate church which parallels the Church of Jesus Christ today. 
A Declaration to the Spiritual Soldier is a wake-up call.   

It is a call of obedience to the word and will of God.  It is a call to lay aside traditional lip service and pick up the banner of Jesus Christ.  This book is a declaration for sobriety from the intoxication of worldly ideologies which run rampant in the Church of God where Jesus Christ is LORD.


POWERFUL MINISTRY TEACHING CD
THE RENEWED MIND

$10.00 USD

If you're not in the word then it is impossible to have a renewed mind. You can become a believer and your life will remain the same with the same addicted desires and behaviors that you had before you became a believer if you do not renew your mind. 

This new CD Series has been developed with this one thought in mine. To enable you to study the word of God and apply its principle to TODAY'S problems and issues so that we can move forward in God's Kingdom.


I only write and teach what God is speaking to me through his Word. The bible is already written, therefore, I only seek to inspire you to study it more!



THE SPIRITUAL SOLDIER T-SHIRT

$15.00 USD

Show your Christian heart with our T-Shirt which reflects the armor of God which is the Word of God, the Helmet of Salvation and the Keys to the Kingdom, the Lion of Judah and the Watchman’s Shofar.


We have all sizes and all our products come with free shipping and handling with a purchase of $30.00 USD or more.











If you have been blessed by work of The Christian Restoration Ministry or have been led by the moving of the Holy Spirit, please consider blessing this ministry financially.

Donating by Mail:
If you would like to make a donation by mail, we ask that you use the following address:

THE CHRISTIAN RESTORATION MINISTRY
C/O MINISTER JIMMIE SPEED
P.O. Box 246584

Sacramento, CA. 95824



You will be enlightened, inspired, strengthened and discipled by the words and teaching of Minister Jimmie Speed.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Religion The Placebo Effect Vrs. The Renewed Mind By: Minister Speed

Religion



Most Christians are just church goers.  This is what I call A Nominal Christian, or in Name only.  This is what I call Religious people. Their Belief System is so Polluted and Diluted from the Truth of Gods’ Holy Word that what they call the Holy Spirit is nothing but Satan’s Placebo

They are devoid of Biblical Truth and therefore cannot realize that their minds have not been renewed and that ANY thoughts they have on God, Christ, Spirituality, or life is a problem.  This is what I call Religion.....


1. Romans 10:17- So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

2. 2 Corinthians 10:5 - Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

3. Romans 12:2- And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

4. 2 Corinthians 4:4 - In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

5. Romans 8:7- Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

6. John 8:32-And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

7. Ephesians 4:22-24 exhorts us to "... put off concerning the former conversation (behavior) the old man (old self), which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man (the new self), which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness."

8.  2 Corinthians 11:14, And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.

A Placebo is a substance that has delusional positive effects as a result of a patient's perception that it is beneficial rather than as a result of a relevant ingredient.  In medicine a Placebo is a pharmacologically inactive substance or a sham procedure administered as a control in testing the effectiveness of a drug or course of action. 

In all cases 100% of the time the person giving the Placebo does not know he has been administered something that is not real.



To put it as simple as possible, a Placebo in Christianity Is a psychological and emotional attachment to a church house, religion, denomination or a man.  These people have a psychological loyalty to the philosophy and traditions to their Placebo Christianity.  

A Christian under a Placebo effect is a person who has not responded in repentance and faith to Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and Lord. There is no Transformative Power although this person professes belief, faith and love in Christ.

As a minister, I truly believe  that "nominalism or the Placebo effect is a major issue and that the majority of the  Christian populations know nothing of a personal faith, true repentance, and a trust in the finished work of Christ for their salvation.

Some have drank poison willingly, spent thousands of dollars attempting to appease God, neglected their own families and fell prey to many scams and schemes because of the counselings and teachings of the Placebo effect.

Colossians 2:6-9, as ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: 7 Rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. 8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. 9 For in him dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily.

A Recovered Mind is a Renewed Mind



Romans 12:1-2 tells us that the way we are "transformed," the way we learn to live Christ's Life, is by the renewing of our minds - putting off our own negative and corrupt thinking and putting on God's Thoughts.  As we continue in our series on being transformed by the renewing of our minds , we want to cover two important questions. 1) What is "mind renewal?"  and, 2) Why is "mind renewal" so important?

Ephesians 4:22-24 exhorts us to "... put off concerning the former conversation (behavior) the old man (old self), which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind ; and that ye put on the new man (the new self), which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness."

A "renewed mind," then, is one that has done two things: It has "put off" any sin (any hurt, doubt, fear, rebellion, self-centeredness, lust, bitterness, etc.), any corrupt thinking, or any barrier that would quench God's Spirit and has "put on" the Mind of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Renewing our minds is not simply "changing" our thoughts, but actually putting off the old, negative thoughts as well as putting on God's Thoughts.  In other words, we can't just say to God, "Lord, give me Your Thoughts," and somehow expect Him to "automatically" give us His Mind.  We must first put off our own self-centered thinking by confessing, repenting, and then giving it to God.  At this point, we can then put on the Mind of Christ.

To renew" means to exchange one thing for another.  In other words, when we put off and put on, we're exchanging our thinking for God's.  If we're not willing to Set Aside and relinquish our own thoughts, then our thinking process will never be renewed and our lives will never be transformed.

Reasons A Mind Renewal Is So Important
There are many reasons why "mind renewal" is critical.  But there are several reasons worth pointing out in this series:  God wants us to have His Mind (His thoughts, His viewpoint) in every situation.

He wants us to have the supernatural ability to discern everything that happens to us from His vantage point and His perspective, and not get dominate down and buried by our own negative thoughts and feelings or by what we can "see" going on.  If we can see from His perspective, then we'll be able to "soar" above our circumstances, our problems, and our trials and not get buried under them.


An Example of A Renewed Mind
Joseph in the Old Testament, I believe, is a wonderful example of someone who was able to see all that happened to him from God's perspective.



The story goes like this: Joseph, the most beloved of all the sons of Jacob, had a dream.  However, he made the mistake of telling his brothers the dream.  His brothers were already jealous of him because he was their father's favorite.  But after hearing Joseph's dream, they were resentful and determined to get rid of him any way they could.

The brothers put Joseph in a pit and finally sold him to the Midianites.  The Midianites, in turn, sold Joseph to Potiphar, an officer in Pharaoh's guard.  After an incident with Potiphar's wife, however, in which she tricked Joseph by making it look like he had seduced her, Joseph was sent to prison (Genesis 39).

While in prison, Joseph met the King's baker and butler and did them a favor by interpreting their dreams.  He begged them to remember him when they were released from jail.  However, when it came time that the chief butler was released, he soon forgot Joseph and his favors. 

I'm sure you know the rest of the story.  Two more years went by when Pharaohs dreamed a dream and the chief butler finally remembered Joseph in prison and the interpretation of his own dreams.  Pharaoh’s men contacted Joseph, released him, and eventually Joseph became Pharaoh’s right-hand man.


Joseph was only 17 years old when his brothers threw him into the pit to be sold, and he was well over 30 when pharaoh finally released him.  He had been "in bondage" for over 13 years!

Now you know Joseph must have struggled with "justified" hurts, resentments and bitterness.  He was not a "super saint," but a human being just like us.  Scripture tells us, however, that all who saw Joseph "knew God was with him." (Genesis 39:3

Somehow, in spite of all the horrendous circumstances and all the justified natural emotions Joseph must have had, his countenance and his life actions still showed forth his love of God.

The only way Joseph could possibly have made this impression was by constantly "putting off" his own natural bitterness and resentments and putting on God's wisdom and understanding, thereby being able to see all that happened to him not from his own viewpoint, but from God's. 

This is validated in Genesis 50:20 when Joseph finally meets up with his brothers and says to them, "...ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." 

This is an incredible response.  It's not a natural reaction.  Humanly, I'm sure Joseph would have loved to have had his revenge, but that's not how he acted.  He saw all things that had happened to him as being used for God's purposes in his own life.

Do we "see" like this in your own trials?  Do we see all the things that God has allowed in our lives as being used for our good?  I know I still have a long way to go in being able to do this continually.

Joseph received the Promises of God


He knew a new freedom and a new happiness.
He did not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
He comprehended the word serenity.
He knew peace.
No matter how far down the scale he had gone,
He saw how his experience could benefit others.
His feelings of uselessness and self-pity disappeared.
He lost interest in selfish things and gain insight in his fellows.
Self-seeking slipped away.
His whole attitude and outlook changed.
Fear of people and economic insecurity left him.
He intuitively knew how to handle situations which used to baffle him.
He suddenly realize that God is doing for him what he could not do for himself.
Are these extravagant Promises for God? 

By the way, there were no psychologists and no psychiatrists in Joseph's day.  Yet somehow, Joseph was able to become free from his traumatic past (and his dysfunctional family), and his life was transformed anyway.

It takes constant discipline not to give in to our negative thoughts and emotions that are trying to crush and drown us.  Often, it seems like it would just be easier to give in and let our own feelings rule.  But, you know what happens if we do that?  Those negative thoughts and emotions "take us captive," and then we'll drown for sure. The devil works in our feelings and emotions.

This, of course, is exactly what Satan wants!  He revels in our bondage to our own negative thoughts.  He wants us totally immersed and consumed in our own problems, bound to him by our hurts, our fears, our pain, our wounds and our circumstances (chains of sin) because then we'll see everything that happens to us from our own horizontal viewpoint and not from God's perspective or the Mind of Christ.  As a result, we won't be transformed into God's image, but simply conformed to the world's image and the Gospel won't be passed on.

The Eagle



Scripture often refers to the eagle as a symbol of this renewing process.  Psalm 103:5 says that "our youth will be renewed like the eagle."  "Youth" here, I believe, refers to the "original image" that God created us to have - His Love, His Wisdom and His Power.  As we renew our minds, it's true, we'll be transformed back into God's Image, which is what God intended for us all along.

One of the reasons I believe God uses the eagle as a symbol of this transformation process is that the eagle is the only bird whose whole physical strength is literally renewed after each molting season.  In other words, only after the eagle has "put off" his old feathers, so to speak, does he actually receive "new" physical strength to soar above his enemies.

It's the same with us.  When we "put off" the old and "put on" the new, we too receive God's supernatural strength to soar above our enemies (Isaiah 59:19).

Another reason I believe God uses the eagle as a symbol of our renewal and transformation is because the eagle again comes from the only bird family that has "telescopic sight," a kind of "zoom-in-focus" lens.  An eagle can search out objects literally miles away (indistinguishable to the human eye).  Eagles can see a quarter from over 200 yards away and a rabbit from over a mile away.  This, of course, increases their ability to judge and discern the true situation.

It's the same with us.  Our minds, when renewed by God's Spirit, have the same supernatural ability.  We are able to judge, discern and pick up things that the natural eye (natural mind) would never be able to see or understand.  We are given the supernatural wisdom and ability to discern the true situation and see everything that happens to us from God's vantage point.

Lastly when it comes to the eagle I've found out that in a severe storm the eagle does one thing that no other bird can do.  When it is caught in a storm it instinctively locks its wings and soars above the storm without effort.  This puts this bird due to its size and power at the top of the food chain as apex predators in the avian world.  They are on the highest level in their world.

 Isaiah 40:31, They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

These are the true over-comers.  "Overcoming" simply means freedom from self, freedom from our circumstances and freedom from others' responses and freedom from what my carnal resentful mind is telling me.


Having a renewed mind, putting off our own negative thoughts and putting on the Mind of Christ is the only way we can begin to see everything that happens to us from God's perspective and not get buried by our own.


Thursday, December 4, 2014

Christian Marriage:Tough Questions to ask before Marriage By:Minister Speed

Genesis 2:18, And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

The first marriage that the Bible tells of is between Adam and his wife, Eve.  God declared, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.’

Genesis 2: 21-25, And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;  And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 

And Adam said this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

The institution of marriage isn't based on behavior or subject to emotion. You grant your spouse value whether they want it or deserve it. Honor is a decision you make and a gift you give. 

This is exactly what the apostle Paul encouraged the early Christians to do when he wrote, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor" (Romans 12:10).

Marriage is a very serious event in which God, a man and a woman become bonded under the marriage covenant.  I therefore charge you to love one another as Christ loves the church. 

To this end I have created an exhausted list of questions I believe will assist you through Gods’ Holy Spirit to determine if indeed you are clear, honest and understanding of the person with which you are going into this lifelong commitment with.   

In my professional experience as a Christian Minister and counselor,  I say that 18 months of celibacy and holy dating and counseling will lay the foundation for a marriage that will be able to withstand the coming strains and issues you will have to face.  

Remember to pray, be honest and congratulations!!!

Minister Jimmie Speed


Career

1. Are you working on your chosen field?
2. How many hours a week do you work?
3. What does your job entail? (For example, do you often travel for business, work at home, performs dangerous tasks?
4. What is your dream job?
5. Have you ever been called a workaholic?
6. What is your retirement plan? What do you plan to do when you stop working?
7. Have you ever been fired?
8. Have you ever quit a job suddenly? Have you changed jobs a lot?
9. Do you consider your work a career or just a job?
10. Has your work ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

HOME

11. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
12. Do you prefer urban, suburban, or rural settings?
13. Is it important to have your own private home, or do you prefer apartment or condo living, with a management company responsible for the maintenance? Are you a do-it yourselfer, or would you rather hire professionals? Do you prefer to clean your own home or hire a housekeeper?
14. Do you think of your home as a cocoon, or is your door always open? What do you need to feel energized and inspired in your home?
15. Is quiet important in your home, or do you prefer having music or some background noise most of the time? Is it important to have a TV in the bedroom? Living room? Kitchen? Do you like to sleep with the TV or radio on?
16. How important is it for you to have a space in your home that is yours alone?
17. Have differences about home style ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
18. If you had unlimited resources, how would you live?
19. How important is it for you to make a lot of money?
20. What is your annual income?
21. Do you pay alimony or child support?
22 Do you believe in prenuptial agreements? Under what circumstances?
23. Do you believe in establishing a family budget?
24. Should individuals within a marriage have separate bank accounts in addition to joint accounts? Do you feel that bills should be divided based on a percentage of each person's salary?
25. Who should handle the finances in your family?
26. Do you have significant debts?
27. Do you gamble?
28. Did you have a paying job when you were in high school? Before high school?
29. Have you ever been called cheap or stingy?
30. Do you believe that a certain amount of money should be set aside for pleasure, even if you’re on a tight budget?
31. Have you ever used money as a way of controlling a relationship? Has anyone ever tried to control you with money?
32. Has money ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

RELATIONSHIP HISTORY

33. Have you ever felt deeply insecure in a relationship? Were you able to name your fear?
34. When was the first time you felt that you were in love with another person? What happened in that relationship, and how have you come to terms with it?
35. What is the longest relationship you have ever had prior to this one? Why did it end, and what lesson did you learn?
36. Have you ever been married? If so, are you divorced or widowed? How do you think you handled the loss?
37. If you have a current partner, do they know of behaviors that you exhibited in your previous relationship that you’re not proud of?
36. Do you believe that past relationships should be left in the past and not talked about in your current relationship?
39. Do you tend to judge current partners on past relationships?
40. Have you ever sought marriage counseling? What did the experience teach you?
41. Do you have children from previous marriages or non-marital relationships? What is your relationship with them? How do you see your relationship with them in the future?
42. Have you ever been engaged to be married but didn’t go through with the wedding?
43. Have you ever had a live-in partner? Why did you choose to live together instead of marrying? What did your experience teach you about the importance of marriage and about commitment?
44. Do you harbor fears that the person you love might reject you or fail out of love with you?

SEX


45. What sexual activities do you enjoy the most? Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable? Be specific! This is no time to hedge.
46. Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? If yes, why? If no, why?
47. What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?
48. Have you ever been sexually abused or assaulted?
48. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about? Who taught you about sex?
49. Do you use sex to self-medicate? If something upsets you, do you use sex to try and help you feel better?
50. Have you ever felt forced to have sex to keep the peace? Have you ever forced someone or been told that you forced someone to have sex with you to keep the peace?
51 Is sexual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage?
52. Do you enjoy viewing pornography?
53. How often do you need or expect sex?
54. Have you ever a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex?
55. Has sexual dissatisfaction ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

HEALTH



56. How would you describe the current state of your health?
57. Have you ever had a serious illness? Have you ever had surgery?
58. Do you believe it is a sacred responsibility to take care of yourself? Do you believe that taking care of your physical and mental health is a part of honoring your marriage vows?
59. Are there genetic diseases in your family or a history of cancer, heart disease, or chronic illness?
60. Do you have health insurance? Dental insurance?
61. Do you belong to a gym? If so, how much time do you spend at the gym every week?
62. Do you play sports or take exercise classes?
63. Have you ever been in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship?
64. Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?
65. Have you ever been in a serious accident?
66. Do you take medication?
67. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?
68. Have you ever been treated for a mental disorder?
69. Do you see a therapist?
79. Do you smoke, or have you ever smoked?
71. Do you consider yourself an addictive personality, and have you ever suffered from an addiction? Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem, even though you might disagree?
72. How much alcohol do you drink every week?
73. Do you use recreational drugs?
74. Do you have a medical problem that impacts your ability to have a satisfying sex life (for example, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness, drug/alcohol addiction, etc)?
75. Have any of these health problems ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

APPEARANCE

76. How important is it that you always look your best?
77. How important is your spouse’s appearance? Do you have strong preferences about being with a particular physical type?
78. Are there cosmetic procedures that you regularly undergo?
79. Is weight control important to you? Is your spouse’s weight important to you? What would your reaction be if your partner were to gain a significant amount of weight?
80. How much money do you spend on clothing every year?
81. Do you worry about getting old? Do you worry about losing your looks?
82. What do you like and dislike about your appearance? When you were a child, were you often complimented or shamed about your looks?
83. What would your reaction be if your spouse lost a limb? A breast? How would you handle this loss?
84. Do you feel that you can have good chemistry with someone who is moderately physically attractive to you, or is a strong physical attraction necessary? Has physical appearance or chemistry ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

PARENTHOOD

85. Do you want children? When? How many? Are you unable to have children?
86. Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children?
87. Who is responsible for birth control? What would you do if there were an accidental pregnancy before you planned to have children?
88. What is your view of fertility treatments? Adoption? Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally?
89. What is your view of abortion? Should a husband have an equal say in whether his wife has an abortion? Have you ever had an abortion?
90. Have you ever given birth to a child or fathered a child who was put up for adoption?
91. How important is it to you that your children are raised near your extended family?
92. Do you believe that a good mother will want to breast-feed her baby? Do you believe a mother or father should stay at home with a child during the first six months of life? The first year? Longer?
93. Do you believe in spanking a child? What type of discipline do you believe in (time-out, standing in the corner, taking away privileges, etc.)?
94. Do you believe that children have rights? Do you feel that a child’s opinion should be considered when making family and life decisions, such as moving or changing schools?
95. Do you believe that children should be raised with some religious or spiritual foundation?
97. Should boys be treated the same as girls? Should they have the same rules for conduct? Should you have the same expectations for their sexual behavior?
96. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active?
97. How would you handle it if you didn't like your child’s friends?
98. Would you put your teenage daughter on birth control if you knew that she was sexually active?
99. How would you handle it if you didn't like your child's friends?
100. In a blended family; should birth parents be in charge of making decisions for their own children?
101. Would you ever consider getting a vasectomy or having your tubes tied? Do you believe it’s your choice, or does your partner have a say?
102. Have differences concerning conception or child-raising ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

EXTENDED FAMILIES


103. Are you close to your family?
104. Are you or have you ever been alienated from your family?
105. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with family?
106. Have you identified the childhood wound that may have sabotaged your relationships in the past or the deeply imprinted fear that made you want to escape? How were you most hurt in your family; and who hurt you?
107. How important is it that you and your partner be on good terms with each other’s families?
108. How did your parents settle conflicts when you were a child? Do people in your family carry long-term grudges?
109. How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions?
110. Have unresolved or ongoing family issues ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

FRIENDS

111. Do you have a best friend?
112. Do you see a close friend or friends at least once a week? Do you speak to any of your friends on the phone every day?
113. Are your friendships as Important to you as your life partner is?
114. If your friends need you, are you there for them?
115. Is it important to you for your partner to accept and like your friends?
116. Is it important that you and your partner have friends in common?
117. Do you have a difficult time setting limits with friends?
118. Has a partner ever been responsible for breaking up a friendship? Have friends ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

PETS

119. Are you an animal lover?
120. Do you have a dog, cat, or other beloved pet?
121. Is your attitude Love me, love my dog, cat. potbellied pig?
122. Have you ever been physically aggressive with an animal? Have you deliberately hurt an animal?
123. Do you believe a person should give up his or her pet if it interferes with the relationship?
124. Do you consider pets members of your family?
125. Have you ever been jealous of a partners relationship with a pet?
126. Have disagreements about pets ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

POLITICS

127. Do you consider yourself liberal, moderate, or conservatives, or do you reject political labels? What was the attitude in your family about political involvement and social action?
128. Do you belong to a political party? Are you actively involved?
129. Did you vote in the last presidential election? Congressional election? Local election?
130. Do you believe that two people of differing political ideologies can have a successful marriage?
131. Do you believe that the political system is skewed against people of color, poor people, and the disenfranchised?
132. Which political issues do you care about? (For example, equality national security, privacy, the environment, the budget; women's rights, gay rights, human rights, etc.).
133. Has politics ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

COMMUNITY
134. Is it important for you to be involved in your local community?
135. Do you like having a close relationship with your neighbors? For example, would you give a neighbor a spare key to your home?
136. Do you regularly participate in community projects?
137. Do you believe that good fences make good neighbors?
138. Have you ever had a serious dispute with a neighbor?
139. Do you take pains to be considerate of your neighbors (for example, keeping a lid on loud music, barking dogs, etc.)?

CHARITY

140. How important is it to you to contribute time or money to charity?
141. Which kind of charities do you like to support? How much of your annual income do you donate to charity?
142. Do you feel that it is the responsibility of the haves of the world to help the have-nots?
143. Have attitudes about charitable contributions ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

MILITARY

144. Have you served in the military?
145. Have your parents or other relatives served in the military?
146. Would you want your children to serve in the military?
147. Do you personally identify more with a nonviolent approach, or with making change through military force and action?
148. Has military service or attitudes about military service ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

THE LAW
149. Do you consider yourself a law-abiding person?
150. Have you ever committed a crime? If yes, what was it?
151. Have you ever been arrested? If yes, for what?
152. Have you ever been in jail? If yes, why?
153. Have you ever been involved in a legal action or lawsuit? If yes, what were the circumstances?
154. Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime? If yes, describe what happened.
155. Do you believe its important to be rigorously honest when you pay taxes?
156. Have you ever failed to pay child support? If so, why?
157. Have legal or criminal issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

MEDIA
158. Where do you get your news (for example, TV news programs, radio, newspapers, news magazines, the Internet, friends)?
159. Do you believe what you read and see in the news, or do you question where information is coming from and what the true agenda is?
160. Do you seek out media with diverse perspectives on the news?
161. Have media differences ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

RELIGION
162. Do you believe in God? What does that mean to you?
163. Do you have a current religious affiliation? Is it a big part of your life?
164. When you were growing up, did your family belong to a church, synagogue, temple, or mosque?
165. Do you currently practice a different religion from the one in which you were raised?
166. Do you believe in life after death?
167. Does your religion impose any behavioral restrictions (dietary, social, familial, sexual) that would affect your partner?
168. Do you consider yourself a religious person? A spiritual person?
169. Do you engage in spiritual practices outside of organized religion?
170. How important is it to you for your partner to share your religious beliefs?
171. How important is it to you for your children to be raised in your religion?
172. Is spirituality a part of your daily life and practice?
173. Has religion or spiritual practice ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

CULTURE

174. Does popular culture have an important impact on your life?
175. Do you spend time reading about, watching, or discussing actors, musicians, models, or other celebrities?
176. Do you think most celebrities have a better, more exciting life than you do? (By the way, if they do, maybe it's because they are living their lives, while you are watching them live their lives. Are you wasting the opportunity and gift to live your own life?)
177. Do you regularly go to the movies, or do you prefer to rent movies and watch them at home?
178. What is your favorite style of music?
179. Do you attend concerts featuring your favorite musicians?
180. Do you enjoy going to museums or art shows?
181. Do you like to dance?
182. Do you like to watch TV for entertainment?
183. Have attitudes or behaviors around popular culture ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

LEISURE
184. What is your idea of a fun day?
185. Do you have a hobby that's important to you?
186. Do you enjoy spectator sports?
187. Are certain seasons off-limits for other activities because of football, baseball, basketball, or other sports?
188. What activities do you enjoy that don't involve your partner? How important is it to you that you and your partner enjoy the same leisure activities?
189. How much money do you regularly spend on leisure activities?
190. Do you enjoy activities that might make your partner uncomfortable, such as hanging out in bars drinking, going to strip clubs, or gambling?
191. Have leisure time issues ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?
192. Do you enjoy entertaining, or do you worry that you'll do something wrong or people wont have a good time?
193. Is it important for you to attend social events regularly, or does the prospect rarely appeal to you?
194. Do you look forward to at least one night out every week, or do you prefer to enjoy yourself at home?
195. Does your work involve attending social functions? If so, are these occasions a burden or a pleasure? Do you expect your spouse to be present, or do you prefer that your spouse not be present?
196. Do you socialize primarily with people from work, or with people from the same ethnic/racial/religious/ socioeconomic background? Or do you socialize with a diverse mix of people?
197. Are you usually the life of the party," or do you dislike being singled out for attention?
198. Have you or a partner ever had an argument caused by one or the others behavior at a social function?
199. Have differences about socializing ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

HOLIDAY AND BIRTHDAYS


200. Which (if any holidays do you believe are the most important to celebrate?
201. Do you maintain a family tradition around certain holidays?
202. How important are birthday celebrations to you? Anniversaries?
203. Have differences about holidays/birthdays ever been a factor for you in the breakup of a relationship?

TRAVEL / VACATIONS

204. Do you enjoy traveling, or are you a homebody?
205. Are vacation getaways an important part of your yearly planning?
206. How much of your annual income do you designate for vacation and travel expenses?
207. Do you have favorite vacation destinations? Do you believe it's wasteful to spend money on vacations to distant places?
208. Do you think it's important to have a passport? To speak a foreign language?
209. Have disputes about travel and vacation ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

EDUCATION


210. What is your level of formal education? Is your education a source of pride or shame?
211. Do you regularly sign up for courses that interest you, or enroll in advanced-learning programs that will help you in your career or profession?
212. Do you think that college graduates are smarter than people who didn't attend college? Have disparities in education ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or ended a relationship?
213. How do you feel about private school education for children? Do you have a limit on how much you would be willing to invest in private school education?
214. Have education levels or priorities ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

TRANSPORTATION

215. Do you own or lease a car? Would you ever consider not having a car?
216. Is the year, make, and model of the car you drive important to you? Is your car your castle?
217. Are fuel efficiency and environmental protection factors when you choose a car?
218. Given the availability of reliable public transportation, would you prefer not to drive a car at all?
219. How much time do you spend maintaining and caring for your vehicle? Are you reluctant to let others drive your car?
220. How long is your daily commute? Is it by bus, train, car, or carpool?
221. Do you consider yourself a good driver? Have you ever received a speeding ticket?
222. Have cars or driving ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

COMMUNICATION



223. How much time do you spend on the phone every day?
224. Do you have a cell phone? A BlackBerry?
225. Do you belong to any Internet chat groups? Do you spend significant time each day writing c-mails?
226. Do you have an unlisted telephone number? If yes, why?
227. Do you consider yourself a communicator or a private person?
228. What are the circumstances under which you would not answer the telephone, cell phone, or BlackBerry?
229. Has modem communication ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

MEALTIME

230. Do you like to eat most of your meals sitting at the table, or do you tend to eat on the run?
231. Do you love to cook? Do you love to eat?
232. When you were growing up, was it important that everybody be present for dinner?
233. Do you follow a specific diet regimen that limits your food choices? Do you expect others in your household to adhere to certain dietary restrictions?
234. In your family is food ever used as a bribe or a proof of love?
235. Has eating ever been a source of shame for you?
236. Have eating and food ever been a source of tension and stress in a relationship? Have they ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

GENDER ROLE


237. Are there household responsibilities you believe to be the sole domain of a man or a woman? Why do you believe this?
238. Do you believe that marriages are stronger if a woman defers to her husband in most areas? Do you need to feel either in control or taken care of?
239. How important is equality in a marriage? Define what you mean by equality.
240. Do you believe that roles in your family should be filled by the person best equipped for the job, even if it is an unconventional arrangement?
241. How did your family view the roles of girls and boys, men and women? In your family; could anyone do any job as long as it got done well?
242. Have different ideas about gender roles ever been a source of tension for you in a relationship, or the cause of a breakup?

RACE, ETHNICITY, AND DIFFERENCES
243. What did you learn about race and ethnic differences as a child?
244. Which of those beliefs from childhood do you still carry; and which have you shed?
245. Does your work environment look more like the United Nations, or like a mirror of yourself? How about your personal life?
246. How would you feel if your child dated someone of a different race or ethnicity? The same gender? How would you feel if he or she married this person?
247. Are you aware of your own biases regarding race and ethnicity? What are they? Where did they come from? (We aren't born biased, we learn it, and its important to trace where it was learned.)
248. Have race, ethnicity, and differences ever been a source of tension and stress for you in a relationship?
249. What were your family's views of race, ethnicity, and difference?
250. Is it important to you that your partner shares your vision of race, ethnicity, and difference?
251. Have different ideas about race, ethnicity~ and difference ever been a factor in the breakup of a relationship?

LIVING EVERY DAY
252. Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night person?
253. Do you judge people who have a different waking and sleeping clock than you?
254 Are you a physically affectionate person?
255. What is your favorite season of the year?
256. When you disagree with your partner, do you tend to fight or withdraw?
257. What is your idea of a fair division of labor in your household?
258. Do you consider yourself an easygoing person, or are you most comfortable with a firm plan of action?
259. How much sleep do you need every night?
260. Do you like to be freshly showered and wearing clean clothes every day, even on weekends or vacations?
261. What is your idea of perfect relaxation?
262. What makes you really angry? What do you do when you're really angry?
263. What makes you most joyful? What do you do when you are joyful?
264. What makes you most insecure? How do you handle your insecurities?
265. What makes you most secure?
266. Do you fight fair? How do you know?
267. How do you celebrate when something great happens? How do you mourn when something tragic happens?
268. What is your greatest limitation?
269. What is your greatest strength?
270. What most stands in the way of your creating a passionate and caring marriage?
271. What do you need to do today to move toward making your dream marriage a reality?
272. What makes you most afraid?
273. What drains you of your joy and passion?
274. What replenishes your mind, body, and spirit?
275. What makes your heart smile in tough times?

Marriage Roles
276. When two people live together, one usually leads. Who will be the leader in our marriage?
277. What are your past and present financial obligations and who will handle the finances?
278. How do you handle your money: are you a spender or saver?
279. Do you believe in divorce?
280. What would cause you to seek a divorce?


Remember marriage engagement is an exciting event, which is usually followed by a flurry of activities and plans for the wedding. Details of the wedding can become the focus of many conversations, often taking the place of even more important discussions about your future together as a new entity -- a married couple. Couples counseling before marriage increase the likelihood that you will have a satisfying union. While you might "fall" in love, living happily ever after takes preparation.

The questions above are not meant to be an attempt at being a private detective, intrusive or rude but a simply guide to awaken the couple that these very questions will become the essential to whether or not the marriage will be a happy one.  Anyone can say “I Do”, but it takes planning, goals and communication to ensure your future success.



Again congratualations and God bless!!!